One day during the week of July 19-23, 1993.  The phone at my desk blurts out 2 short rings, its an outside call.  Its Pastor Dean calling to set up a lunch date with someone he wants Paul Hofmann and I to meet.  The date chosen is the following week on Tuesday, July 27th.  Dean and I talk a lot about all sorts of things, sports, golf, salvation, even the weak joke he attempted "off the cuff" during his previous Sunday in the pulpit.  As a matter of fact, he is acting in an extremely animated fashion, so I realize that he's normal and everything is all right in the world.

Finally, as our conversation is winding down, Dean mentions that he has had a real burden to pray for me lately.  I make a few jokes about how I obviously need all the prayer I can get, and we say good-bye.  But privately I begin to wonder why . . . .

Monday, July 26, 1993.  Dean calls to confirm our lunch meeting.  He's all pumped up and very talkative, so once again I am reassured that all is well with the world.  He also mentions, AGAIN, that he has been praying mightily for me.  Sometimes I wish he wouldn't say that so much.

Tuesday, July 27, 1993.  At some point during my morning at work, the "Rumor" begins.  A 10% to 20% office layoff is on the way for Friday of this week.  Now there have been some small scale layoffs during my 3 year tenure here, but the rumored magnitude of this one is startling.  I have a very difficult time visualizing this place running very well with that many people missing.  Why there are some people who have already been handed an overflowing plate already!  Wow!  Oh well, I've been through a number of these layoffs now, its time to ride out another.

Lunchtime.  Time to forget the dark thoughts of the morning and meet Dean, Paul and Ted for lunch.

It was a very relaxing and enjoyable lunch.  I completely forgot my previous thoughts.  Besides, how else could a meeting of 3 Michigan trained engineers and a street kid evangelist from Chicago turn out?  We shared stories about our various "Road to Damascus" conversions and subsequent walks with the Lord.  We even made fun of ourselves (you know, nerdy pocket protector jokes and computer do-loop humor).  That part was surprisingly easy.  Hmmmmmm.  Once again, as I was leaving the restaurant, Dean mentioned that he was being led to intercede on my behalf in a very big way ....................... My flesh was definitely starting to crawl.  I hadn't mentioned the "Rumor" at all to these guys during lunch.

Back at work that afternoon, the "Rumor" had begun to live and breathe and feel as cold as the force that propelled it throughout the office.  I truly began to FEEL something that was extremely disconcerting.  Something that travelled to the marrow of my bone.  Boy, I wish this week was over.  Its only Tuesday!  This is going to be terrible drain on my spirit.

Wednesday, July 28, 1993.  The monster continues to grow.  People make light of the possibilities of losing their jobs.  Some saying things like, "...I've been thrown out of better places than this one."  But for me, its a cold dark cloud that is slowly but ultimately settling over my soul.

I've told my wife, Deb, that any fears that I might have about losing my job are just not rational.  I'm only 35. Practically a baby in this organization.  I believe the average age is 45 to 48 years old.  That is the average!  I've gotten excellent reviews and moderate pay increases for the past 3 years.  I've contributed a lot to this organization in a very short time.  Why, any organization that is seriously considering surviving must be intent on retaining those who are vibrant and full of energy and have promise for the future.  Those who can build on the experience of the past and continue on.  Age and wisdom are invaluable, especially when balanced with youthful enthusiasm,  (You'd think I came from the sales department!).

This evening, at home, good neighbor Paul and I are drooling over the upcoming delivery of our new computers.  Yes, we are truly nerds to the core.  While we are comparing how fast our new machines can bite off bytes (get it?!), Paul suddenly whacks himself in the forehead with his palm.  You know, the 'I could've had a V-8' move.  He proceeds to tell me of a dream or vision he recalls having the previous evening.  In it, he felt a very strong leading of the Holy Spirit to pray for me in earnest!  (Now I'm not exactly sure where earnest is, but I asked Dean and he thinks is just west of Chemung).

"Oh really?  Pray for me huh?" (I ask calmly on the outside).
"Oh Lord, what is happening?!" (I am screaming on the inside).

Once again, my spirit and my logic (that is, my flesh) are feuding.  I wish I knew who was going to win; I wish I knew if it mattered.  Its no wonder that all this week I've had difficulty concentrating during my regular quiet time of prayer and reading God's instruction manual.

Thursday, July 29, 1993.  I felt a tremendous urge to pray very intently this morning.  I took the dog to the park and used my prayer language like never before.  At some point during my morning routine before work, God whispered very quietly to me 'Jeremiah 29'.  Now why that chapter?  I'm right in the middle of Ezekiel.  Let's see, Jeremiah 29 tells about a letter that Jeremiah sent from Jerusalem to the captives in Babylon.  Its a warning about false prophets.  He's also telling the captives that God wants them to remain in captivity for 70 years.  They are to build houses, have children, watch their children marry and have their own children.  Basically he is telling them to relax and enjoy their captivity.  How does this apply to me?  I realize that God led me to Rockford from the Detroit area so that my family and I could get saved, but I never felt like I was a captive (except for suffering through 3 Cows, I mean Bulls Championships).  In fact, we love it here.  We don't want to leave.

During the day at work, the dread and fear grows.  The "Rumor" is unstoppable now.  A runaway semi-truck screaming down a mountain completely out of control.  In spite of the destruction that it is causing to the souls and spirits of so many people, their exterior facade remains tough and resigned.  Well I sure don't feel any toughness right now.  I am just dying inside.  This week won't end soon enough for me.  My boss, who has been under tremendous pressure for the past few months, is acting very cold and impersonal around me.  He has even begun asking for certain information and reference material that pertains to work that is months in the past.  Why is he asking for that now?
Friday, July 30, 1993.  Once again, Peaches (my dog) and I set off for the park to talk to God.  Well that was my plan, but I'm not so sure about Peaches.  As I am putting on my walking shoes (They used to be running shoes - even cross trainers!  But I gave up running.  I've heard it has been proven to cause cancer in laboratory rats), I suddenly realize something that nearly causes my heart to stop.

I can't remember ever telling God how grateful I am to have my job.  I've never told Him how thrilled I am to receive a regular check every 2 weeks.  I never mentioned just how worthless I'd feel if I couldn't provide for my family all those things that make life seem easy and pleasant.  I have been a protected, loved, cherished child of God, and yet I have been a spoiled child.  A real pain in the gospel.  God whispered oh so quietly to me to read Jeremiah 29 yesterday, but today, when He revealed my ingratitude, I could barely hear Him.  My mind, that is what's left of it, is racing . . . . 

"What does remaining in exile have to do with this entire lousy scenario anyway?" 
"Why do I feel such dread?  I'm a valuable asset to this company!  I've made a real impact here!"  
"Oh Lord, My family and I have found Jesus in this place.  How could a lousy thing like losing my job happen now?"
"Why hasn't my boss spoken 10 words to me all week?  It must be that he is afraid of losing his job."
"I can think of a few people that are potential victims, but not 10 to 20%".

Yesterday's record setting prayer attack was repeated, no, it was shattered, as I set a brand new record today while walking through the park.

"Oh Lord, how could I have been so stupid?"

How could I have gone through my whole life, especially these last 3 years as a Christian, without thanking you for the love and grace that you have shown me?  What now seems so obvious has eluded me all my life.  I have complained and moaned about my job, my salary, my boss, and all those people at work who don't appreciate me.  And in one tiny instant, with the smallest of whispers, I have been shown a lifetime of ungratefulness.

That day at work.  The news begins early.  They usually do the "dirty work" from mid-afternoon on to the end of the day.  The first one to go was someone who had planned to take the afternoon off for vacation, so they were informed by 10:00 AM.  Throughout the course of the day, my wife Deb calls and asks, "Do you still have a job"?  I know she doesn't believe that I could get laid off, but she has sensed my nervousness and unease all week.  Dozens of questions that require answers or study past the end of the day are answered with a qualifying, "Sure I'll find out, IF I'm still around on Monday".

My friend out in the shop, Maury, also calls periodically.  He pretends to be the V.P. or the president and greets me on the phone with a comical, "Andy, this is George.  You're fired!  Ha Ha!".  Then he gives me the "Rumor" hit list as the shop grapevine has determined it.

What a day.  I notice people leaving carrying boxes.  I sit near the door that all of engineering uses to enter and exit.  Its a day of exits.  It's happening.  People are being notified.  Lives are changing forever to save some cash on the bottom line and appease the bankers.  I hate this. Its evil.  Fred seems to have been assigned the dirty task of informing everyone.  He must be in line for a promotion.  My boss is completely out of the loop.  Maybe he is going to get it.

I notice that 2 of the younger draftsmen are packing boxes.  I don't get it.  One of them was just hired and trained less than 6 months ago!  We have a mountain of drafting work already piled up.  I'll bet the powers that be are going to demand that the engineers do a lot more of there own drafting work.

Its 2:00 PM.  I've almost made it.  Please Lord, I get the point.  Message received.  Wake up call acknowledged.  Deb calls again.  Yes dear, I still have a job.  Maury calls again.  He jokingly fires me again.  He then proceeds to tell me that young up-and-coming fellows like myself are layoff-proof.  I grudgingly agree.

3:00 PM, Friday, July 30, 1993.  A day that will live in infamy.  My phone rings once.  An inside call.  Its Fred.  He wants to see me in his office.  "I'll be right there Fred."  There is an atomic melt down occurring in the middle of my chest as I immediately walk to Fred's office.  As I step in he asks me to close the door.  As I am closing the door, I get very close to Fred's face before he can retreat behind his desk.

"You're not going to do this to me are you Fred?"
"I wish I didn't have to" was his sad and strained reply as the door closed behind me in Fred's office.  At the same time a door to my life has just been shut by God.  

My life has just changed forever to save some cash on the bottom line and appease the bankers.  This wasn't in the plans Deb and I made.  Oh Lord!  Oh Deb!  What will you think?

"I can't believe this is happening.  I can't believe you are going to do this to me!" I mutter to Fred as I stare down at the floor.  I must have said that 10 times in a row.  I said it because I meant it.

I can't believe this.  I can't believe this.  I can't believe this.  I can't believe this . . . . 

He quietly informs me of the severance package.  Its very generous he assures me.  I suppose they tell you that very quickly to discourage any thoughts the employee might have of purchasing an Uzi.  It does help, but for the most part I am completely numb.  My chest is still warm from the recent melt down.

My thoughts are riveted on my wife Deb.  How will she hold up?  I love her so much.  I just can't bear the thought of telling her this news.  What about my kids?  Will they comprehend the seriousness of this situation?  What about our friends and relatives?  What will their reaction be?

I sleepwalk back to my desk and immediately call Deb.  "They let me go Deb.  They laid me off.  I get six months of pay and health care.  They let me go Deb.  I don't have a job anymore."  Somehow, I manage not to cry just yet.

Brian, my office neighbor asks me what is going on.  "They let me go" I tell him.  "They let me go."  He is stunned.  He is upset.  That makes two of us.  Within minutes Scott comes over and gets the news.  Again shock and disbelief are the reactions.  Within 10 minutes a number of my colleagues are around me offering condolences, sharing their measure of shock, and muttering words of anger.  I am still too numb to say much.  Besides, when ever I open my mouth to talk I have to fight to keep from breaking down and crying.

"Scott, would you please help me find some boxes to pack my stuff in?"  

I rarely ask someone to do something I could easily do myself, but right now I just want to sit and pack and avoid talking and crying.  Pack it up Andy and get out of Dodge.

I can't believe this.  I can't believe this.  I can't believe this.  I can't believe this . . . .

Two rings of my phone.  Its Deb.  She has already called Lynette and Pastor Dean.  She is as strong as an oak.  She is supportive and confident.  "We'll be all right"  she says.  "Don't worry Andy, we'll be all right".  

Oh Lord, Thank you so much for my wife.

"Dean says that if you want to come home and go golfing that it might help take your mind off things.  Do you want me to call him?"

"Deb, all I want to do is come home and be with you.  Tell him some other time".

The remainder of the day is filled with me doing my best not to talk or cry.  And packing everything I owned at work into boxes.  Scott only found one, but it helped.  I'm going to have to do the rest of this packing later today or Saturday when I can bring more boxes from home.

Just before I left I took my "Dad's Place" sign off the wall, along with the pictures of my wife and kids.  The tears finally arrived.  Oh Lord, I just want to be home right now.  Just get me home now.

At home that evening.  I walked in the door and hugged my wife - finally.  Then the sobs that had been brewing since 3:00 PM broke loose and I cried like a baby.  Deb was steel wrapped in velvet.  I know that was terribly difficult for her, but she was a rock.  God comforted me greatly through my wife that day.  I really needed her to be exactly as she was, and God worked through her to accomplish it.

The Hofmanns were soon over.  Paul had to leave work early because he was so upset.  Lynette's eyes looked red and puffy.  My kids had gotten the news from Deb and they just kept looking at me with big round eyes.  They were very quiet, which is an indication that all is not well with the world.  But they understood, at least in part.

Dean and Carol called.  Dean was vibrant and bubbly and very animated.  Maybe all IS well in the world.  He said that they would be over and that they would bring dinner.  He also said that he would have his clubs in the trunk if I felt like playing.  I believe he has designs on creating a ministry at First Assembly that utilizes golf as a therapy.  It just might work!  I'm sure, however, that there would be an epidemic of mental illness and demon possessions if he were allowed to continue with that plan.  Soon, the Niforatos' arrive amid a flurry of hugs, kisses and 'Praise the Lord's'.  They have our "Meals-on-Wheels" dinner.  Pizza, salad and ice cream.  The Hofmanns also join us for my "employment wake".  

Two important points emerged in the discussions during and after dinner.  First, God must have a tremendous adventure in store for the Madonio family.  And second, as Dean said many times that evening and in the days to follow, "Andy, you are doomed to succeed!"  I grudgingly agreed.

God's hand also became very evident to me as the evening was drawing to a close.  I began to think back to the week just ended.

* The Holy Spirit's leading of Dean to intercede on my behalf.

* The Holy Spirit's leading of Paul to intercede on my behalf.

* Jeremiah 29, verse 11.  It finally made some sense.  Being fairly new in the Lord, I didn't realize it was a "Bible Top Ten Hit," known by believers worldwide.

"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for your welfare and not your harm, to give you a future with hope."

I couldn't see it before.  I didn't know what was about to happen to me.  I still don't know what God has in store, but this gives me a great deal of assurance.  I was focusing on all the wrong things before.  Both in my life and in the 29th chapter of Jeremiah.  There are many more tears to be shed, but now I have a personal promise from God to hold on to.  And when you are going on a wild ride, its best to hold on tight.
The Ride
The Goodsoil Discipleship Ministry
By Bro. Andy Madonio
July, 1993
Introduction:
After moving into a house directly across from two believing families in the summer of 1990, my wife and I found ourselves believers by the fall of 1990 and spirit filled and tongue-talking by the winter of 1990.  Three years later, in the midst of a fairly standard and mediocre Christian walk, I found myself jobless, but not yet mortgageless.  Bummer!
     
This story chronicles the events I endured during a couple of weeks in July 1993.  I now look back at these events (with the hindsight I describe in "Rear View Mirror"), my layoff and associated other happenings, as the greatest catalyst to the growth and development of my spiritual life to date.  Without the layoff, I would still be numbly drifting along with the other spiritual flotsam of my life.
     
I can truly say with Paul that "I rejoice in (my) sufferings, because I know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4).  Whether it is physical, mental or spiritual suffering, God is sovereign and is watching over us in our trials.  I hope this story helps those who desperately need it, and encourages those who merely require a boost.